I’d like to think that I am the live, love, forgive, and forget kind of person. However, I tend to have a hard time with the last two, because I so dearly embrace the first two. I don’t half-ass my friendships or my relationships. I either love you, or I don’t. So, when I make new friends, I take that friendship seriously, and I (naively) believe that the other person will too. The same goes for my old friends. If I say I’m going to be there for them, I will be there for them: rain or shine, personal catastrophe or personal celebration, middle of the night or middle of the afternoon. The fact that I expect the same in return is where I create problems for myself.
Day 04: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Unfortunately, this list is much longer than I’d like it to be, but I’ll simply share the story that first came to mind.
When I was in my senior year of high school, my friends and I decieded to plan a big trip to Puerto Rico for spring break. We invited as many people as possible in order to cut down on the cost of the hotel room. A girl who was a friend of my best friend, let’s call her Ivory, came along on the trip with us. While on our first vacation without parents, we decided it’d be a swell idea to pierce our bodies at the local piercing and tattoo parlor. My best friend chickened out, but Ivory agreed she would get her belly button pierced if I got my nose pierced. The big, tattooed covered Puerto Rican running the shop said he’d offer us a deal: $50 a piece. Ivory didn’t have enough cash on her, so she said she’d promise that if I paid for both she’d pay me back. Of course, like an idiot, I whipped out my credit card and paid the man. We suffered through our decision and walked away proud and giddy, anticipating the look on our parents faces when they came to pick us up from the airport. Throughout the trip, she avoided the topic of “Hey you owe me $50.” Once we got home, she avoided answering her phone. Eventually, I stopped calling.
I ran into her randomly at a night club years later. My best friend ran up and said hi, hugged her, and then Ivory turned to me and hugged a very unwilling, stubborn me. She asked me how I’d been, I said, “I’ve been $50 short for a few years,” classy, I know. She just laughed and laughed. I wasn’t laughing. Fearing a fist fight, my best friend pulled me to the end of the line outside the club, where the sobering March weather in Michigan cooled me down. I couldn’t find her once we got inside, and I haven’t seen her since. Recently, she added me on Facebook. She’s now married to a military man, living in one of the Carolinas somewhere, and she’s pregnant. I still say, “That bitch owes me money,” when someone brings her up in conversation. I need to forgive her for being immature, rude, and a terrible friend. She taught me to never ever lend out money to anyone, unless I don’t expect to get it back. So thank you Ivory, for that very valuable lesson. As of this moment, I forgive you for being awful. If someone mentions your name in conversation from here on out, I’ll be sure to keep my mouth firmly closed.