I had my bachelorette party last weekend. It was very similar to the first time I had sex: a very fun, crazy, embarrassing, kind of uncomfortable experience. There was a giant inflatable phallic (that the party dubbed Alejandro) which we carried around with us to the bars and to the restaurant. I wore a crown with a veil, a bright pink sash that read “Bachelorette”, and a necklace with a “Out of Control Bachelorette!” shot glass hanging from it. I wore a turquoise dress with black leggings (so as not to become unladylike as the night progressed) and was very enthusiastically pursued by several middle aged women who wanted to get their picture taken with me. I had dare cards to complete, which I did, and gave out dare cards to my party members, the middle aged women who wanted to take pictures with me, and any random group of girls I could find. Here are the cards I completed: “Put on a lot of lipstick and then kiss a strange guy.” “Have a guy give you a kiss.” (completed both with the same guy- cheek kisses) “Ask a guy ‘How long is it?’ and have him write it down.” (the guy replied “7ish” which we kept repeating all night long as if it were the funniest thing ever) “Ask the bar tender ‘How big is it?’ then howl in ecstasy when he tells you.” (the bar tender said “too big”) “Ask a guy for a condom” (I asked like 6 guys, no one was prepared). My maid of honor got some older guy to buy us a round of drinks at the bar, the middle aged women got a guy to show the party his underwear and took a picture of me in the guy’s bathroom at the bar, my friends got guys to dance with them, said “Hey Mister Clean! Hey baldy! Wanna dance?” and other various silly antics throughout the night. We played Dick Head Hoopla, a ring toss game between two people in which each player straps a plastic penis to their head and tries to toss the rings onto the other person’s phallic headdress, and pin the junk on the hunk (I won). I’m not a drinker, but I put everyone else to shame that night, and I didn’t have to buy one drink. 🙂 It was memorable, and somehow we ended up bringing home an extra party guest (a guy friend of one of the party members) who my mother was very surprised to see in the morning. Ahhh, how I love my crazy friends…
In 8 days I will no longer have the last name that I’ve had for the past 23 years. I’m extremely excited to get all dressed up and promise to love, take care of, cherish, and be faithful to C for the rest of my life in front of all of our family and friends, and I can’t wait to to be Mrs. B. I’m moving up in the alphabet! Hooray! It’s been so bizarre to decorate my classroom and put up name signs that say I’m Mrs. B. My mom felt the same way when I sent her an email from my new school email (which has my new last name in it) saying “That’s too weird!”. I’m excited for the wedding and at the same time nervous about all of the things that might go wrong. I know that it won’t be perfect, I’m okay with that, and I know there will be problems, I just don’t feel like having to deal with them.
Sidetrack: It’s been a very expensive two months too which is not helping to reduce my stress levels. Still, I’ve gotten a lot done around the house that I’d been aiming to do for forever, so I’m pleased with that. Yesterday, I had a migraine that forced me to sleep in my car for a half an hour in front of the school admin building before I was conscious enough to drive the 40 minutes home. Upon arriving to my cool, dark, quiet, air conditioned house, I stripped down and crawled into bed in the spare bedroom (it’s darker in there) and slept for 5 hours. I felt much better, albeit very groggy, when I woke up, and headed to the fairgrounds for some good ole fashioned fried fair food. There’s nothing like a corn dog on a stick and some cotton candy to cure a headache hangover. End of sidetrack.
Last night I was reading through my tangible journal (which I hadn’t written in since April ’09) and was amazed at how incredibly dorky I am. I mean, I know I’m a dork, it’s no secret. In fact, I relish the fact that I am queen of dorkdom. Yet, viewing my very naive thoughts on love and relationships makes me feel even more like an immature goober. I’m referring to my thoughts on my previous relationship (before C came along and swept me off my feet) and how incredibly stupid I was to put up with that guy for so long. I was even writing about how unhappy I was, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to break up with him sooner. Alas, I have been saved from that guy and found it very enjoyable to read my thoughts on that break up. It’s amazing how much my mind forgets until I reread my thoughts. I had written, in detail, the first two nights I spent with C- our first kiss, etc, including some dialogue. Right, like I said, I’m a huge dork. I’m glad I did though, it was like reliving those first moments with him. The first time he kissed me I knew that there was no one else in the world for me. I still feel that way and could not be more satisfied, calm, and happy about my decision to marry him in 8 days. 🙂